Doody Head Game

BaronBob.com $14.95

Want an excuse to throw crap at someone's head?  Well here is your chance!  Enjoy this doody flinging velcro hat game with your closest friends and family.  New Christmas tradition anyone?

Runny Nose Soap Dispenser

Amazon.com $6.28

What is a bathroom without a giant nostril pouring out body wash?  As you ponder that question, do beware that this product averaged about 2 stars on Amazon reviews for poor quality soap dispensing and frequent leaks and messes.  I don't know what people thought they were getting themselves into with a runny nose soap dispenser.  It doesn't say "stuffy" nose for a reason.  Just sayin'....

Big Mouth Toys Fanny Bank Funny Farting Coin Drop Bank

Amazon.com $10.49

Piggy banks are so 20th century.  Get with the times by being absolutely classless with this farting butt bank!  Even though it's only a fart noise, I still wouldn't trust putting my hand near it.  No one likes smelly fingers.  No one.

WM: Butt Face Soap

Amazon.com $5.55

From the people who brought you the Butt Face Towel, here comes the revolutionary Butt Face Soap!  Wash your face with one side and your butt with the other.  This brings up the further question, however, of which side do you use to wash the rest of your body?  Your feet?  Your armpits?  Should we have different soaps for each specific body part?  Or should we go with Chandler's theory from Friends that soap is, indeed, "self cleaning."  Just saying.  Not sure I wanna wash my ass with brown soap.

Dine Ink Pen Cap Eating Utensils

Amazon.com $8.33

For all of you ridiculous workaholics...this item is for you!  You'll never even have to put the pen down during lunch because you can attach your utensils to them!  Brilliant, just brilliant.  This would also be a great gag gift to your boss if he or she doesn't give you more than a half hour for lunch! JK don't do that.

Perpetual Kid Underpants Dispenser

Perpetualkid.com $6.99

The moral of the story is...you just never know.  And luckily, in case you "never know" five different times, this disposable underwear dispenser has you covered (literally).  Not sure how I feel about disposable unisex undies, but for $6.99 I wouldn't mind wrapping these bad boys up as a gift. 

Menu Baggy Wine Coat

Amazon.com $69.99

Forget your designer handbag, because this is the new style in town.  Carry your wine with you wherever you go!  The rave reviews on Amazon's site make it seem like it is actually worth the $70...I especially like the guy who bought it for his grandmother.  Get it gurrrrl

Big Mouth Toys Presidential Election Toilet Paper

Amazon.com $5.59

Amazon.com $6.84

No need to be an annoying political activist anymore.  Share you opinion the simple way--by wiping your ass with your opponents face. 

The Butt Station - Desk Accessory: Tape Dispenser Pen Memo Holder Clip Storage

Amazon.com $7.99

Start an uncomfortable workplace conversation with this gem.  Tape dispenser, pencil holder, post-it keeper, and paper clip magnet all in one.  Just lovely

SpinningHat Facebook "Like" Giant Foam Hand

SpinningHat.com 7 Euros

Ugh, giant foam fingers are so 90's.  Welcome to the Facebook "Like" foam hand...for times when your small thumb just won't get the point across.

ThinkGeek Chumbuddy Sleeping Bag

ThinkGeek.com $199.99

Yet another $200 weird sleeping bag.  I'm not really sure this even looks comfortable

Creative Cursing: A Mix 'n' Match Profanity Generator

Ebay.com $10.52

I personally enjoy the example of "ass waffle" in the picture preview.  I can't say this isn't intriguing, especially since I have been running out of original insults. 

FredFlare Magic Unicorn Mask

FredFlare.com $40

I know, I know, $40 to look like a complete ass (literally) does not seem worth it.  But to see people's faces as your walk around in this horrific costume may just pay off in the end...

FredFlare Like and Dislike Stamps

FredFlare.com $9.99

Tired of beating around the bush with positive or negative comments?  Cut to the chase with these Facebook inspired "Like" and "Dislike" stamps.  Don't let Facebook's denial of the people's request for a dislike button stop YOU from stamping others' work with disapproval.  Perfect for elementary school teachers. hah.

Shitter: Twitter Feed Toilet Paper

go to getshitter.com for this gem

Do bathroom trips frequently take away from your precious social media time?  I'm sure for 50% of us the answer is no, because we Facebook/Twitter on the toilet.  But for those of us who are too classy to do that, all your social media withdrawal problems are solved with Shitter: your own personalized twitter feed printed out on four rolls of toilet paper mailed directly to your door.  You can wipe your ass with all your friends' stupid comments, rants, and everyday activities and thoughts.  What more could you really want?

Westminster Butt Face Towel

Amazon.com $13.62

Towel-sharers, no more need to fear!  The Butt Face towel is here!  To be honest, I never thought about wiping my face with a towel that may have previously wiped a butt, but now that I am thinking about it...I just...need this towel.

Big Mouth Toys Naughty Pigs Salt and Pepper Shaker Set

Amazon.com $9.89

New homeowners fear not!  Spice up your housewarming party with this set of humping pigs salt and pepper shakers.  In-laws coming?  Perfect.  The sad thing is that most guys I know would buy these if they saw them.  The sadder thing is, I want them too. 

Big Mouth Toys Red Cup Shots

Amazon.com $6.31

Okay so these seem totally worth it to me.  Maybe it's the soft spot I have for my college days, but the red solo cup is something that is near and dear to my heart.  Shot pong anyone?

Big Mouth Toys Toilet Mug

Amazon.com $10.80

This is something I would definitely give as a gift.  If you go to the Amazon page for it, you can really see the various uses for this classy item.  Grow a plant, make an ice cream sundae, even float some small candles in it!  As ridiculous as those options sound, they do sound better than drinking any sort of brown liquid out of it.  Gross, but awesome.